my friends vagina is bleeding but she’s not on her period her bf just goes way too hard during sex so she was bleeding and she was complaining about it during a bonfire today so we all looked at her bf and we were like “dude why don’t you chill” and he was like “im sorry dick just too bomb” then my friend was like “no really you’re gonna hurt her” and she just looked at all of us and said “i like that you’re concerned and all but i kind of tell him to do that”


me: hey im feeling sick today i cant come to skool

school office: why

me: im coming down w/ the dunk fever 

school office: u are lying

me: image

school office: wow i am a bitch, take 3 weeks off

(via nahs0nn)